Updated: Oct 23, 2020
In the moment of things everything feels ten times more heightened than what it really is, but the reality is far more simple. What are you talking about?, you may ask.
Heartbreak, rejection, relationships.
I don’t know about you but growing up in a very Latino community was a duality of identities that I balanced until I later struggled to conceptualize it all. When I left home, it became apparent to me that not everyone lived the same way I did with a predominant, Spanish-speaking, immigrant community.
But, I didn’t come to talk to you about that part of my life so then why share it? I share this little factoid about myself because the majority of the people around me not only came with their language but also their customs. The customs of machismo are real.
And, if you know me, then you know that I am a strong woman. (If I get hate for those last 5 words, I quite frankly don’t care and neither should you about the lives of others that have nothing to do with you).
Machismo culture in Latino communities inhibits women in my facets, including but not limited to the following:
Professions that men are predominantly seen
Societal norms of harassment
I always felt out of place growing up in Miami because both genders would assume these roles that I couldn’t see myself assuming. Women would be submissive to their relationship. Men would alienate themselves. Men would try to control what you say or wear. These obviously don’t apply to everyone, but it was the norm. I quickly learned that it was not a life for me to stay in Miami and glad to have left when I did at a formative time of my identity.
Although my conversation with Bryan and Karla about teenage heartbreak, the relationship gap, and friends with exes may seem that this post has nothing to do with all of the above, think again. I equate machismo and last week’s episode through the extent that women and men play these roles that were created by societal norms telling us what we should and shouldn’t do.
As a strong woman, it is sometimes offensive to have an opinion on a topic like this because I am immediately devalued for having an opinion on a subject that I have “no legitimate reason” to speak on.
In my 24 years of life, I write this with my heart's conviction that I have loved and have been loved. The timing of life has not put me in the “official arms” of someone, but it doesn’t devalue me from heartbreak. It doesn’t devalue me from still staying in touch with old flames, and it sure as heck does not devalue me from the never ending cycle that is - human connections.
Want more of this topic? Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or SoundCloud to listen to my podcast, Work In Progress. Give it a follow, rate it, review it. It helps, really. Let’s get these conversations going.